Voldemort and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Sexy Prom
by weneverspeakofthis
Summary: Sherlock and John are going to have an amazing time at their prom, as long as the mysterious stranger doesn't get in the way.


Voldemort and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Sexy Prom

John was nervous. He had to go pick up Sherlock for their uber-sexy date any minute now and he was sooooooooooooooo scared. I mean, he was totally manly and straight and a total ladie's man but when it came to Sherlock, he turned super head-over-heels-vomit –all-over-your-tux-and-still-smile kind of crazy and got super butter flies in his stomach, which was toned from all his army training, even though he was 16. He was pacing back and forth in his super nice mansion.

-SHERLOCK'S POV-

Sherlock was feeling super confident. He was waiting for his boyfriend to come and pick him up so they could go to their prom nite. Everyone knew that Sherlock and john were straight guys and super sexy and totally available but they were going out because even though they were straight they were also soulmates. But omg I forgot about Sherlock. He felt confident and was wearing a super nice tuxedo but he had a surprise. (I wonder what it could be hahaha)

-JONHS POV-

John stood at sherlocks door and shuffled nervously. he had flowers and a corsage and chocolates for Sherlock and also this super cool pome he wrote him which was super romantic and kinda sexy but in a classy way cause john wasn't a slut or anything, he just really loved Sherlock. He knocked on the door. The door was opened almost immediately by a big hulking man who had lots of muscles and ttatoos all over his bare arms. "w-who are you?" john asked, super scared.

"I'm Mycroft" said the wall of meat. He was chewing on a chicken leg, which was dipped in cake. Even tho he was gross he was also kinda sexy and he made john even more nervous with his sexy bod. But john managed to muster up some curage and was like "can I talk to Sherlock? I'm taking him to prom" but while he was saying that Sherlock came down looking so sexy john thought there were sparkles all around him and he could hear angels singing that high pitched angel song. So then john was all nervous and stared at his feet and he was like "hey, Sherlock these flowers are for you and this chocolate and my body if you want it and oh yeah I got us a limo so let's go" Mycroft looked very upset and turned to Sherlock and said "no no Sherlock. You can't go to prom with him, hes a man and that's wrong and your wrong for wanting it."

But then Sherlock snapped his fingers at Mycroft and was like "shut your face mycroft. I'll do what I please or I'll tell mummy (cause their British so they say mummy instead of mommy) why her betty crocker books keep disappearing." And then myrocfts face fell and he told them to have a lovely time and slammed the door. John sliped the cosage on shrelocks slender alabaster hands and said "oh wow yo lok so beautiful " an sherlock said "I know" because hes cocky like that but it makes him extra hot when hes a jerk. So then they got into the limo and drove off towards the prom, which was gonna be great cause they had to go catch a train to get there at PLATFORM 9 ¾ (I'm so clever haha)

-AT HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY-

"oh voldemort, youre so sexy and evil" said Bellatrix as she pinned a button-flower-thing (I don't remember the name okay) to his shirt. He looked super sexy cause this was bfore he looked like a s upper gross fish monster and instead looked like a sexy sensitive man.

"shush bella" he said and gently pushed her ebony locks behind her ears. Her violet eyes were glistening in the moonlight and she had a look in her eyes that said "I love you so much" they stared into each others eyes and then ever so gently her full rosey lisp joined his pale ivory ones in a dance of harmony. Then he pulled away and turned to his girlfriend and said "I'm sorry bella but I can't be seen with you at prom or my evil plan will never work. You see, I'm going to poison everyone with this super secret potion and then I'll be the most evil man in the wizarding or muggle world." Then he pulled out this mysterious vail that was full of a glowing purple liquid that was like radioactive or something. Of course, his super evil plan just made Bellatrix long for his super hot body even more than she already did. She tried to pull him closer but he pushed her away, and said "not now, Bellatrix. I have to go hatch my evil plan now and I can't have you involved because you'll mess everything up with your lady feremones which everyone knows confuses people." And then he vanished with a flourish of his cape, like the magician my mom got for my 5th birthday.

-ON THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS-

"oh john, do it again! Don't stop john! Don't stop!" cried Sherlock from their cabin on the train. John was sitting on the opposite side solving a rubix cube, the one smart person thing he was better at than Sherlock. It turned Sherlock on to see john's sexy army hands handling that colorful cube. Sometimes he wished he was a colorful cube like that. Wait, I mean sometimes he wished that the colorful cube were him. Just then, the Hogwarts express slowed down to a stop and they were at the gates of Hogwartsz. Sherlock grabbed johns hand and dragged him off the train and pointed up at the castle. John was too busy freaking out cause he and Sherlock were holding hands to even realize there was a castle. He really wanted to grab Sherlock and kiss him but it would be awkward cause Anderson was there and Anderson thought that Sherlock was sexy too and always s hit on him even thou everyone knew john and Sherlock had been an item since like forever. John could totally take Anderson out with his army training but he never did cause he's sensitive like that and only fights when he needs to.

-VOLDEMORT'S POV-

Voldemort looked around the dance room sneakily, like a villain in a cartoon, and pulled out a vail from his cloak. But it wasn't the shiny purple vial from befor . it was a glowing pink one that he had stored in there for later. It was a…

LOVE POTION.

He poured the vail into the punch bowl and then laughted evilly like "MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHA" and then ran into the shadows to wait for the hot chicks to show up. He would never cheat on his dear Bellatrix but sometimes he liked to look at other girls cause he's evil too.

-JON AND SHERKOCKS POV-

They walked into the dance room where there was smoke macines and a dj and some awesome punch and snacks and other dance stuff. John wasn't sure what to do with Sherlock first so he went and got them punch before the line got too long. He thought the punch looked weird but he guessed it was just a special effect like lights or some shit that made it glow. He got two glasses and brought one to Sherlock. Everyone else got punch too as the dj started playing music that would be totally fun to dance to but nobody did because everyone wanted to look cool, like they didn't care about the dj even though they did. But what nobody knew was that the love potion was taking effect and it took all your love feelings and made them like 10000000x stronger. Slowly Sherlock realized that he wanted john. Right there, on the dance floor. It didn't matter that their whole class was watching or that Anderson was there. Sherlock was going to have what he watned. He grabed his sexy g.i. joe and staretd kissing him. John felt like a thousand worms just gave birth in his stomach as he realized that Sherlock was kissing him. But he quickly figured it out too and started kissing Sherlock back. It was a super passionate kiss with lots of groping and moaning and they were holding each other tightly. Other people would have noticed but they were effected by the love potioin too and staretd making out too. Shelrock started going for johns shirt and undid his bowtie (which is cool lol) and then started undoing his buttsons. at the same time, john started undoing his pants and they were still making out the whole time. Soon john was in nothing but his boxers, which had jars of jam on them. Sherlock looked athim like a panther about to devour a gazelle and then said "I had a surprise for you this night, john. Here it is!" and ripped his tuxedo off, revealing a sexy leopard print bra and thong with lace all over and fishnets. As he ripped off his suit, he started glowing like the power of like…90 flashlights. Like the good flashlights that they give cops, too. Not the crappy ones.

-BELLATRIXS POV-

Bellatrix found voldemort in the shadows and was all crazy by the love potion. "oh voldemort, I have to have you right now!" she said, diving for his body. But voldemort hadn't had any punch and was all upset that his plan hadn't worked. "damnit, Bellatrix! Not you too! Everyone here but me is all sex-crazed cause I mixed the vails up!" and then Bellatrix kissed ihm and some of the punch was on her lips and he was effected too and then they had sweet passionate sex, right there on the dj table. Everyone saw, too. Someone took pictures. They were hot.

-JOHN AND SHERLOCKS POV-

John was so surprised by sherlocks surprised that he didn't even know how to react. Then he dove for sherlocks' body and they had really hot man sex right there, by the punch bowl. They were having such amazing sex that they knocked the punch over on top of them and John started lapping it up off of sherlocks body like a dog drinking out of the toilet bowl. This extra punch made him so horny for sherlocks body that he started sexing sherlocks body even harder. And it was the best sex ever. Everyone stopped having their sex and watched Sherlock and johsn sex. Some people cried cause it was so beautiful. And then everyone went home and never had sex again cause they knew it would never be as good.

THE END


End file.
